Synchronicity is a milestone for me in the sense of not only depth, movement and color theory; but also because of its innate artistic medium. I have been using digital programs such as illustrator and photoshop for about 15 years on and off but I saw them more as tools to achieve a greater sense of depth and detail on physical works of art as opposed to ways of making works of art. I saw the intangibility of digital space as cheap and unfulfilling. It wasn’t until recent years that I started seeing how shortsighted that was. Most TV shows, movies, video games and animations use digital art as serious mediums to convey many different feelings and concepts.
Also since finding out that many of my artistic muses who are almost exclusively phyiscal paintings and sculptures are either terrible or way less cool than they present themselves I realized that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
And So I decided to just take my 2-d designs and for the most part make them digital. I am not done with physical painting by any means; but the process of taking a digital design and then turning it physical and then back into digital to post it on the internet is a huge waste of time and energy. SO HERE I AM!
My work has deep symbolic intentional meaning and this piece is no exception. I first conceptualized "Synchronicity" while in a hospital waiting room almost 2 years ago. My mother has suffered multiple ruptured cerebral aneurysms and was fighting for her life.
I remember having an insane amount of headaches and chest pain during that time and it was obviously stress related but I couldn't help but shake the feeling of it being an intense psychic bond I was experiencing with my mother. I kept having some of the craziest dreams I've ever had when she was dying and after she had died.
As I sat in the hospital room holding her hand crying and saying my goodbyes I was also witnessing her eternal soul leaving her finite limited body; as this intense overwhelming amount of love and terror flooded through me that I have never experienced before.
Based on my own psychedelic experiences and my understanding of Near Death Experiences I knew that not only was she totally fine and with her deceased loved ones she was now with me and my living family members in ways that I do not totally have an explanation for. It was almost as if she was more alive than ever before even though I couldn't see or feel or hear her physically anymore.
She exists beyond my 5 innate senses and I genuinely see her as a bridge between this life and the next. When she passed I started straight up having full blown conversations with my deceased ancestors and having very intense interactions with animal spirits that have completely changed my life.
I miss her like crazy still though and I know that she would have given up an eternal afterlife with God for a few more decades with her family on Earth. There is so much sadness and despair and pain around her passing and I dont think that those feelings are going anywhere or are going to get better anytime soon. You just learn to live with it and maybe even one day thrive with it.
